365QOD- Day736

“80/20 rule again”- my thought

I listened to two very talkative people have a conversation.  I was wore out. 

During the conversation one of the people kept talking and talking.  Usually their typical conversations are dominated by one or the other.

So the usual format is one will start it and the other will dominate it.  It works for them but I feel that it is limiting.

When I have conversations with people I want to engage with them.  Maybe share something and then listen to their response and ideas.  It seems to me that the 80/20 rule fits well. 

I want to do the 20% and let the other person fill in the 80%.  I know what I know BUT I do not know what they know.  Then I expect the other person to do the 20% and for me to give them the 80% in order for me to contribute.  It is also very important to be able to truly listen and absorb (4 times as important) what is being given to you.  Unfortunately, we most often are just simply formulating our response. 

Most conversations do not follow this ideal.  They can not but the closer they are to that the more ideas we would exchange.

Today’s question is:

“Can you hold a 80/20 conversation?”

365QOD- Day726

“It is my fault”- something I often admit

I handle many projects with large staffs.  Each one of the projects has a construction manager.  I delegate the execution to them.  They are the field generals. 

I have to trust them to make all decisions in the field.  Often times I express to them that I can not make the decisions fast enough.  However, when the project has a failure I have to be willing to take the hit and accept the failure as mine and NOT theirs.  

Why?  I believe that when we succeed it is because of them.  When the project fails it is my fault.  That is what a leader has to be willing to accept.  Your workers and co-workers need to see that humility.

In my belief you can not throw people under a bus and expect them to want to get back on your bus after the problem is solved.  Because human nature reasons that if you threw them under the bus for a flat tire then you will run over them for anything bigger.  This instinct will force them not to trust you or follow you. 

Today’s question is:

“How do you practice humility?”

365QOD- Day707

 “Incredible!” – my surprised expression

A few months ago I got a speeding ticket.  The funny part of this story is that I seldom go above the speed limit.  I have been told that I drive like an old man by many passengers.

In order for the ticket not to show up on my driving record I had to take a 6 hour on-line driving course and give Texas a copy of my driving record.  The course was very difficult to sit through and listen to. Often pop quizzes showed up and you had to supply the answer quickly.  BUT I did learn a lot.

One fact that I learned was that when angry our IQ (Intelligence Quotient)  level drops by 40 points.  So suppose by definition someone is average- 100 points on the IQ scale.  By getting angry their IQ level drops to 60 points.  This temporary drop places them at a mentally disabled level.

Why do you care?  First of all your IQ is your business.  BUT when you get angry your IQ level drops and it affects everything.  The longer you stay angry the more decisions you make that are poor.  This places you and others in danger. 

This drop in intelligence might not even have anything to do with driving.  It could affect your personal as well as professional life.  So when in a situation that you feel yourself getting angry, realize that by getting angry you are putting yourself in jeopardy and the best thing you can do is cool off in order to make better decisions.

Today’s question is:

“How do you stop yourself from getting angry?”

365QOD- Day679

“Your reaction chooses it”- Unknown source

We tend to be very reactive.  We even want to storm off when we are mad.  At times we choose to ignore what we do not want to deal with.  BUT in the end we end up having to deal with what is in front of us. 

So what can we do?  We can choose the reaction.  I like to respond instead of react.  To me a response is a thought out reaction.  By thinking through your response, you control what happens next.  Ultimately we come out ahead when we control then when we are controlled.

Today’s question is:

“Do you choose your reactions?

365QOD- Day641

“I can’t wait to go home and blog about this!” – fan’s statement after a football game

 

I went to a football game the other day.  The game was OK but it came down to a couple of last plays that made a difference.  The home team lost and the fan uttered these words on the way out of the stadium.

 

The first thought I had was how the world has changed.  The probability of those words being uttered a decade ago would have been almost zero.  Now they not only make sense but seem natural. 

 

The social media presence in our world is getting to be a bigger and bigger fact.  We wan to connect to others and that seems like the way to do it.  At times it seems we are connecting to through the social media but not communicating with the people around us. 

 

I believe that the social media presence can help build our brand over time BUT we must also nurture the relationships with the people around us.  The main difference for me is that the online is asynchronous(at any time) while relationships require synchronous(in real time) communication. 

 

Today’s question is:

“Do you neglect the relationships you are in for the ease of communicating through social media?”

365QOD-Day410

"Love is all that it is"- song lyric

It is hard to not respond to attacks.  I always think that responding is a lot better than reacting.

People have their reasons for attacking.  They even believe to be right. 

Create a flame inside before reacting. Come from the angle of love.  Maybe it will not flame up.

Today's question is:
"How do you warm yourself up before responding?"