"In summary, for children to develop the capacity to delay gratification, it is necessary for them to have self-disciplined role models, a sense a self worth, and a degree of trust in the safety of their experience"- M Scott Peck M.D.
In my humble opinion, these three things are also true for us as adults. The instant gratification we often choose leads to many of our problems: overeating, drinking too much, etc...
It is not uncommon that the ills of the parents are passed on to the children. If your parents smoke you are more likely to smoke. If one's family overeats one has to fight the desire not to overeat.
These role models become us. Their self-worth becomes our ceiling. We become the role model for the next generation. To raise the level of the next generation we must raise our own level.
The solution for failure in the first two lies in the third portion of the quote. We must develop a safety net. A degree of trust that the experience, if challenging, will still not harm us.
We often see life events as either failure of success. As I point out in my book, The Result, there is a third way of thinking about experiences. We always get a result. If we are given an environment in which we are allowed to test ourselves(whether at home or at work) to achieve different results, we will eventually reach the success we are seeking. Success might not be immediate. Thus, the first portion of the quote- delayed gratification- is important.
Long time ago I saw a story of a lady who had lost a lot of weight by simply waiting for 20 minutes to eat once she decided that she was hungry. During those 20 minutes she examined why she wanted to eat. Was it because she was bored and needed something to do with her hands. Or is it a legitimate need to replenish her energy source.
Today's question is:
"Can you delay your desires by 20 minutes?"
In my humble opinion, these three things are also true for us as adults. The instant gratification we often choose leads to many of our problems: overeating, drinking too much, etc...
It is not uncommon that the ills of the parents are passed on to the children. If your parents smoke you are more likely to smoke. If one's family overeats one has to fight the desire not to overeat.
These role models become us. Their self-worth becomes our ceiling. We become the role model for the next generation. To raise the level of the next generation we must raise our own level.
The solution for failure in the first two lies in the third portion of the quote. We must develop a safety net. A degree of trust that the experience, if challenging, will still not harm us.
We often see life events as either failure of success. As I point out in my book, The Result, there is a third way of thinking about experiences. We always get a result. If we are given an environment in which we are allowed to test ourselves(whether at home or at work) to achieve different results, we will eventually reach the success we are seeking. Success might not be immediate. Thus, the first portion of the quote- delayed gratification- is important.
Long time ago I saw a story of a lady who had lost a lot of weight by simply waiting for 20 minutes to eat once she decided that she was hungry. During those 20 minutes she examined why she wanted to eat. Was it because she was bored and needed something to do with her hands. Or is it a legitimate need to replenish her energy source.
Today's question is:
"Can you delay your desires by 20 minutes?"
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