365QOD- Day1417

Improving Energy

"What are you doing to improve your PEMS muscles?"- my question to myself

I manage energy instead of time.  What does this mean?

At minimum I need to monitor my Physical, Emotional, Mental, and Spiritual energies.  Each day I need to provide myself with opportunities to stretch those muscles.

Do I? Not always and that causes an imbalance and I have to spend time to correct each dimension. If I do not give the people in my life the time that they need emotionally then I will pend time arguing with them.  In the end the time spent arguing is the same as the time I invest every day BUT the effect is negative vs. positive.

These energies are like muscles.  The more you exercise them the stronger you get and the more your life becomes balanced.

Today's question is:
"What are you doing to exercise your PEMS muscles?"

365QOD- Day1344

Life Resume

“Tell me your story.”- my typical introduction

Often times people lead with the question, “So, what do you do?”  In an old post I proposed that a better question is to ask someone to tell you their life story.  By doing so you will not only get them to tell you all about themselves but indirectly answer the typical question.

Notice that the title of this post is life resume.  I believe that often people self-identify so much with their current job that they will give you their title as who they are.  But the title I placed o this post is asking a bigger question, ”What have you done besides your work?”

It is an important question.  If you identify with only the work you do for a business, even if it is your own, you are limited.  You might be successful at work but you are not successful at life.  You might be only successful at work and nothing else.

So what is required to be successful in life?  Well a successful life is one in which all aspects of your life are on equal footing.  Your family life is as good as your work life.  Your relationships with friends are as strong as your family relationships.  Your financial house is strong and can not be knocked down due to a job loss. 

A balanced person is difficult  to knock down.  There are too many pieces that support them.  Too many pieces that make sure the person’s fall is temporary and there is a hand lifting them up.

Today’s question is:

“What is on your life resume? 

365QOD- Day1329

Two Out of Three

"In life we always have a choice to make.  It is between work, friends, and family.  You can have two out of three but not three out of three"- a paraphrase of Kevin Koput statement on Eventual Millionaire

I believe that most of our lives are spent out of balance.  The way you can visualize it is as a wheel with several spikes.  If most of them are about equal then the wheel rolls smoothly down the road.  But if one gets out of whack then the wheel goes WHACK WHACK WHACK

So this quote is wisdom.  It makes us realize that often the imbalance is due to choosing two out of three instead of all three- because we can not have all three.  Or can we?

So 
If you chose work and friends then your family suffers.
If you chose Work and family then you lose your friends over time.
If you chose friends and family then you do not succeed at work.

I believe that Kevin is right and he is wrong.  It is our American mindset that fools us into believing that we must choose.  We are driven and do not understand that the balance is the key.  Maybe getting less of each moves you ahead instead of maximizing two out of the three.

That is my belief.

Today;s question is:
"How do you chose what is important without disturbing your balance?"

365QOD- Day1220

The 15-15-15-15 Breathing Plan

“Fight OR flight”- a typical response choices

Our prehistoric brain responds in one of two ways to new stimuli.  It chooses the flight or flight response.  This is OK if we are faced by a saber tooth tiger BUT in modern day life this instinctual decision response creates a lot of stress.

According to James Altucher, the decision creates oxytocin which produces an inflammation of the vagus nerve.  We need to figure out how to reduce the inflammation OR stop it in the first place. Because modern day presents a lot of opportunities for decision making we are often stuck in the inflammation of the vagus nerve mode.

One of the 10 suggestions that James offers is deep breathing.  He offers an interesting perspective on breathing:

“..Basically, yoga measures a lifespan in the number of breaths you take. A dog pants fast and dies young. A turtle breathes slow and lives to over 100. Pranayama is the art of breathing slower and slower And using your cavities in your bodies other than your chest cavity to hold your breath (i.e. your abdomen, for instance). You don’t have to be a pranayama expert. I don’t want to be one. But the simplest exercise is to sit there and hold your breath for 8 seconds, breath out for 8 seconds, breathe in for 8 seconds, hold, etc. Do that for ten minutes a day…”

Many years ago I wondered what the right mix for holding the breath, breathing out, and breathing in.  I feel that the whole cycle should last one minute:15 seconds to breathe in, 15 seconds to hold the breath, 15 seconds to breathe out, and 15 seconds to hold the breath.   James’ numbers are way shorter than I am used to using.    The one thing that I do know is that it does need to slow your heart rate and NOT make you feel like you are going to hyperventilate.  It should feel natural for you.  Maybe the best way to experiment with this is to record a chime every so many second for ten minutes? 

No matter what the interval length works out for you, one thing that cannot be argued that this breathing pattern will prolong our lifespan.

Today’s question is:

“What are the right interval lengths for you?”

P.S. the original article can be read at

https://www.linkedin.com/today/post/article/20140609124126-5858595-10-unusual-ways-to-release-oxytocin-into-your-life?trk=tod-home-art-list-small_1

365QOD- Day1205

BREATHE

"I want to feel good, I want to feel God"- my breathing mantra

During the last seven posts I detailed the BREATHE technique for outsmarting stress.  Recall that

B- Be present in the moment(live in the now)
R- Realistic goals(set them)
E- Everyday events(notice positive events)
A- Acts of kindness(practice acts of kindness)
T- Turn negative events around(reframe bad events)
H- Humor( have a belly laugh)
E- End the day with gratitude and appreciation

I suggest that we all take an index card and carry it with us.  Each day, several times a day, pull the card out and read it and note opportunities that are being presented to us.

Remember that things that are easy to do are also easy not to do.  So don't ignore this simple technique to help manage your stress level.

Today's question is:
"Did you practice BREATHE today?"

365QOD- Day1204

Gratitude

"THANK YOU!"- words that we do not use enough

The last E in BREATHE acronym stands for End with Gratitude and Appreciation.

If we sit down at the end of the day and we pause for a minute or two we can easily find several people to whom we owe gratitude and appreciation for something that they did or said.  Most often it is for little things that we most likely just overlooked as it was being done for us.  We blindly missed it.

Wouldn't it be nice to sit down and jot a note to that person thanking them for that?  I recently wrote about a CEO who starts his day by writing three thank you notes. Wow!

I believe that he is correct to do so.  It shows appreciation and gratitude daily before starting the day.  Maybe it is better to start the day instead of ending it with gratitude?  Both? Or simply model the behavior during the day.

Today's question is:
"Do you end your day with gratitude?"

365QOD- Day1203

Funny... Ha Ha

"If you can't laugh at yourself, others will."- wisdom given to me many years ago

I tend to disarm criticism by being more critical of myself than the attacker.  This tends to completely take away the sting of the criticism.  After all, they figure I am harder on myself than they can ever be.

One of the beliefs that I hold dear to my heart is not to take myself too serious.  Man I laugh at my silliness all the time.  After all if I can not laugh at myself then others will have a field day.  So why not get it in before they do.  Overall I tend to be an upbeat person with very few worries than bring me down.

A good belly laugh can soften stress and has been found to improve immunity.  I also believe that laughing together will help strengthen relationships.  No one likes a grouch who just sits there and mopes.

Today's question is:
"When is the last time you had a good belly laugh?"

365QOD- Day1202

Reframing

"That is the best that could have happened."- difficult advice to accept

Not everything that happens to us is positive.  No matter how positive we attempt to be, life will sometimes knock us down so bad that we will need to get up.  The getting up part could take time.

The T in the BREATHE acronym for outsmarting stress stands for Turn Negative Events Around.

I believe when something negative occurs we need to consider what more negative events could have occurred. Do not just focus on how bad the even it.  Really dive deep into what is the worst thing that could have happened.

Once armed with the most negative, we need to take a look at what happened from the side and reframe it as a much better starting point than the worst case.  We need to reframe it as a much more positive result.  And lastly, develop a plan on how to move to a better result- to turn negative events around.

Today's question is:
"Do you reframe bad results to look for the silver lining?"

365QOD- Day1201

Acts of Kindness

"Karma is... the principle of causality where intent and actions of an individual influence the future of that individual"- wikipedia

The A in the BREATHE acronym stand for Acts of Kindness.

I believe that we need to realize that others around us are simply parts of ourselves.  Even the most evil spirits around us are a part of the universal source to which we are all attached. Yes, even the evil ones.

AS this part of stress reduction guides us, make it a point to perform an act of kindness and make someone's day.  Even better try to create a positive event for someone randomly.  This would make it even more meaningful to them.

One of my favorite commercials shows how one act of kindness leads to another which leads to another and it keeps going.  The ending of the commercial comes back to the original act of kindness giver.  That is karma.  You get what you put out.  Put out warmth and love and you will recieve it.  Whatever you want, put it out into the universe.

Today's question is:
"What random act of kindness di you perform today?"

365QOD- Day1200

Everyday Events

"Stuff happens everyday that we miss"- an observation

The E in the BREATHE acronym for reduction of stress is Everyday Events.

One of life lessons is that life moves on while we are making plans.  In a rush, we often tend to just notice the negative events in our lives.  We seldom stop and just notice the positive events.  BUT noticing is not enough.

We need to celebrate the positive events.  When they happen, we need to share them with our family, friends, and co-workers.  This is just as important as complaining about the bad events.

Why is that we complain daily BUT celebrate seldom?

Our focus tends to be negative based.  Noticing the bad creates the stress that we need to reduce.  We must balance that by trying to increase the number of positive events in our lives.

Today's question is:
"What positive even did you notice and celebrate today?"

365QOD- Day1199

Realistic Goals

"Be realistic!"- words often given as an excuse to not follow a path

The R in the BREATHE acronym is Realistic Goals

It does not serve our purpose to be too realistic and also it does not serve our purpose to be too unrealistic.  This is just my opinion.  There is a fine line between those two types of goals.

In my world, when dreaming then dream BIG.  But when applying then make sure that the dream can be realistically executed.  Otherwise stress will show up at your door.

So what is the right mix?

I am back to the 80/20 rule.  20 percent of your dreams need to scare the hell out of you.  They have to have a feeling that you can fail.  And often you will.

The other 80 percent need to be realistic and achievable.  When I say achievable that means that with a plan and persistence the achievement is certain.  You only have to keep moving to get to the goal.

For the "unrealistic" you still need to create a plan as if it is realistic. BUT hopefully as you move towards the goal you will start seeing things that will help guide you.  There is no guarantee except that you need to keep moving.  Without movement and action the goal will stay unrealistic and you will fail.

As Dr. Sierpina advises, "Make these(realistic Goals) for the moment, the day, and celebrate their achievement."

Today's question is:
"Do you have Realistic Goals?"

365QOD- Day1198

Breathing

"BREATHE"- label to stress reduction technique by Dr. Victor Sierpina

Dr. Sierpina writes a column in my local paper The Daily News.  He recently wrote an article in which he gives a technique for outsmarting stress.  I will break down his technique over the next seven posts.

B is for Be Present

I have written before about the ides of being present.  We often find ourselves reliving the past or looking forward to the future so much that we fail to live in the present.  Our ability to reduce stress is limited by the percentage of time we spend being present.

How do we become more present?

In past columns I have talked about a mindfulness bell.  It is an app that can be set o randomly go off and allow you to ask yourself if you are being present.

Another column talks about a faceless watch that vibrates every five minutes to remind you of the passage of time.  This is another great tool.

Today's question is:
"How do you keep yourself in the present?"

365QOD- Day1076

Awareness of Five Minutes

“Durr, a new concept wristwatch that buzzes every five minutes, in an effort to jolt you into doing something with your day. “-Jason O. Gilbert

A while back I wrote about a Mindfulness App I have been using for a while.  The app randomly sounds a meditation bell once per hour from 9 am to 9 p.m.  The purpose of the app is for you to stop and think about what you are doing and whether you are mindful.

Initially I used the app a lot but at times it would go off during meetings and folks would wonder what the bell sound was all about.  I eventually started turning the sound off during meetings.

The idea of having a wristwatch without a working face that serves this reminder function is interesting.  It provides the same reminder in five minute increments with a simple vibration.  This is regular repetition teaching you physically the meaning of five minutes.  Most of us are aware that when we do unpleasant tasks that five minutes seems like an hour.

I believe that initially it would be wonderful especially since you are not bothering others.  BUT I believe that after a while your body would tune into the repeated vibration and you would start to ignore it.

Today’s question is:

“Would you find it helpful or ignore a five minute vibration reminder?”

365QOD- Day868

"Too much consistency inevitably leads to a plateau where weaknesses ossify and improvement becomes harder."- Scott Young

In past posts I have written about the power of a routine.  The power of routines is that they become automatic and do not require much conscious thinking to get things done.

But to grow we must stretch.  We have to constantly put ourselves in situations where we disrupt our routines, push the limits to a new limit, and get out of our comfort zone. So what is the sweet spot between routine and stretching?

Scott Young in his 99U presentation offers a way of striking a balance between routine and true growth. His suggestions are:"
1. Purposely taking on projects to learn new skills.
2. Setting "deep focus" hours to consciously push your skill set forward.
3. Instead of changing your habits, changing your environment in order to force habit change and learning
"
In my world, I believe that 20 percent of or time must be spent stretching and 80 should be spent developing routines.

Today's question is:
"What is the right balance between routine and stretching for you? "

365QOD- Day859

" Be quiet, I am catching up on my ultradian rhythm" a joke

What are ultradian rhythms?  Ultradian rhythms are mini mind and body breaks that one strategically takes during the day.

Our bodies need nourishment and rest to perform properly.  Without proper nutriment every 90-120 minutes they start getting hungry and the longer we go without feeding it we are more likely to overeat.  So when we override the 90-120 minute natural cycle we tend to do things that we should not.

Same thing goes for or minds.  If your mind does not take a mental break every 90-120 minutes it does not stay sharp.  It will start making mistakes more frequently.

Putting this together would mean that every hour and a half or two hours we should grab something light to eat and rest by closing our eyes and stilling our mind.

Today's question is:
" Could you take a 10-15 minute break mentally and physically every 90 -120 minutes"

365QOD- Day680

“Balance is Bunk there is no such thing it cannot be achieved. If you had balance you would work 12 hour days and be off for 12 hours, work 3.5 days a week etc… You get my point you should strive for Rhythm of life not balance.”- Unknown

I used to live a balanced life.  Man!... I remember those days.  I used to monitor my days very closely and made adjustments to get to a balanced state. 

My definition of balanced life was one in which I expended energies in

Physical

Spiritual

Emotional

Mental

Focus

Urgency

Discipline

Etc…

At the end of each day, I would look at the opportunities presented by the day and consider how well I did to accomplish this balanced state.  I re-shuffled the priorities for next day and worked on improving the results in all areas that were important to me.

The quote above claims that you can not live a balanced life.  I completely agree.  The author of the quote calls it “Rhythm”.  Yup!  I would call it rhythm in many areas that we expand energies towards.  In other words, we are talking about the same thing.

Today’s question is:

“Do you have Rhythm in your life?”

365QOD-Day362

"A career is wonderful, but you can not curl up with it on a cold night"-Marilyn Monroe

I often observe the people that work around me.  They have developed their work habits over their career and I enjoy observing them. 

What do I see?

The younger ones are often working harder than others as if trying to let everyone know that they belong.  The more mature ones see the end and are now coasting.  They feel as if they are fire proof. 

The ones in the middle, like me, work a little more than needed but enough to go home and have a life.

It all boils down to a single word: balance.  In my opinion, what we see as balance varies with our age.  Hopefully, at the end of our lives we can say that we achieved that balance. 

Today's question is:
"In which group do you belong?"

365QOD-Day331

"...after 20 years, the knees of distance runners were actually healthier than those of control group."-Stanford Medical School researcher finding

In another study, by the American College of Sports Medicine, it was found that "physical activity [including running] is beneficial, rather than detrimental, to joint health."

It is my conclusion that the human body is amazing.  We can abuse it BUT as long as we abuse moderately it will spring back and become stronger. I guess the key is moderation and not extreme abuse.

I find that as long as I run a few times a week I can abuse my body by eating a little more than I need and still not gain any weight.  If I control what I eat and still run, then my body responds with a modest weight loss.

If I drink more than one beer, I note that next day I do not feel as well as I usually do.  So for me the key is to stop at one beer.

Today's question is:
"How do you stop yourself from abusing yourself?"

365QOD-Day204

"Align your inner vision with your outer work." —Martin Ping #99conf

It is not uncommon that the things we want on the inside and what we are doing on the outside do not match.  When this happens we create a gap.

Unless the gap is closed, pain moves in.  It could be that we are out of balance by placing so much emphasis on one aspect of your life and ignoring another.  In a past post I wrote about life management as a Chinese acrobat balancing many plates. (What are your plates?)  Any one of them can be ignored for a bit BUT not for too long.  The plate will fall and might potentially get damaged.  You are getting a result that you do not wish to have.

Often when the gap is ignored one needs to spend a lot of time trying to get the plate moving while making sure another one does not fall.  This is difficult to accomplish.

Today's question is:

"Where is your biggest gap?"

365QOD-Day171

"Balanced life.  What is that?"- a question from a person living an unbalanced life

I just got through listening to the book Perpetual Motivation.  In it the author explained a balanced life very well.

Reflect on the several pieces that are important to you in your life.  It could be your family, finance, work, etc.

Now visualize life as you trying to balance these several plates like a Chinese acrobat where each plate represents one of the important items in your life.

As long as the plates are spinning, minimal attention once in a while continues the momentum and the plates stay spinning.  If you ignore any one of the plates in order to focus on just one of the plates(i.e. work) at least one of the other plates will fall.

Today's question is:
"What are your plates and what is the minimum effort required to keep them spinning?"