Once in a while, I like to take out a sheet of paper and brainstorm the relationships between key people and activities in my life. In order to do this I create a square matrix for each of the key people, job(s) and assign a score from 1(very negative) to 5(neutral) to 10(very positive) on how they affect each other and how they affect your life. I consider the interaction from each row entry towards each column entry including towards itself. This includes a self-evaluation. If I am not too fond of myself at that moment I might give myself a score below 5 BUT if I just happen to think that I am the greatest thing since slice bread I might give myself a 10.
The happiness matrix(I have never seen this anywhere) looks like the one below:
Note that the matrix fields change depending on what is happening in my life.
Once the matrix values are filled out, I consider the row which has the most negative effect on the column entries. This is the most toxic relationship in my life. Similarly, I also consider the most positive effect row on my life. Then I usually spend some time thinking about how to improve the relationships.
Sometimes the results are obvious but at times they are rather revealing.
Today's question is:
"What is the most toxic relationship in your life and what can you do about it?"
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